To Everything That Was, and Everything That Will Be

All clocks tick simultaneously before my ignited eyes, under a roof that’s filled with love and light. Anticipating for the two hands to meet at the north, I was deeply swallowed by a mixture of deep and shallow words and pictures and thoughts which I confidently knew were memoires of the past 365 days. Hours before another year is yet to be greeted, I sat under the moon and the starry night, looking up to the universe and looking back at all of yesterday’s milliseconds, and I can’t help myself to look forward to what the galaxy holds for me the next days that I’ll be breathing.

2017. It has been great. Ups and downs, one hell of a ride. It was a massive split between a depraved year and a good one. Along with the sound of what I think was a whistle bomb, I diverted my sight to where I think it came from. And right when another one exploded, a wide smile escaped my lips as I recalled how many promises I made myself in the middle of firecrackers exploding before me, this time, last year, when everything was different – December 31, 2016. My small laugh was swallowed by a child’s trumpet as I travelled back through waves, finding myself in a deep thought of my postponed transfiguration which was supposed to happen in 2017. Silly how eager and enthusiastic I was to change my default settings back then. It’s even funnier how I haven’t completely done even just a single of them. I looked up the sky, just in time when drops of water landed on my bare skin, and I smiled, for the nth time. The raindrops made me realize that I may have not achieved what my 2016 self wanted me to become this 2017, but I became a better version of my own shadow in a way that’s laudable. Betterment, regardless the size, is still improvement nevertheless.

Pondering what a year it has been, I completely wandered back in a span of finite and worthy minutes. Failures, disappointments, tears, fears, uncertainties, rage, regrets, name it, I’ve had it. On the opposite end, I also went through good times, unexplainable happiness, tears of joy, love, and all other human-like things under the sun. Meeting new friends, saying goodbye to unreal ones, facing fears, overcoming threats, failing people, committing mistakes, repenting, loving, caring, being good, hurting, crying, stressing, and cursing the universe for all of its unbelievable tactics – my 2017, like all other years, was a cycle of norms in the world and of humanity. I asked myself, which is now up in both feet, with eyes closed, and on-board mind, “What makes 2017 different?” I continued searching for answers in a dark tunnel with eyes closed and nightfall didn’t flop me. I know, the most beautiful things aren’t those that can be seen, but those that can be felt by the heart. Really, what makes each different from all of the other 365-day revolutions? The beats of my core told me, “What makes each year different is how you spend the days, the minutes, and the seconds.” Fundamentally, the Earth gives us 365 days every year, with 12 months, and 24 hours every day. It is a continuous cycle of alike revolt and rotation, but it fluctuates on how those times were used up. Wanting to answer my question, I know, that somehow, my 2017 was full of quality minutes. Odds may not always be by my side, but I’m certain, 2017 made me better. It made me stronger.

Disclosing the world before my bare sight, once again I looked up, not just on the sky, but way higher at the high heavens. Talking to the stars, I wondered, where will 2018 lead me? I asked, later, after a few hours, it would be a fresh start, but what awaits me on the other side of the calendar? I laughed at the thought that I’m actually too curious, maybe too excited, or too afraid, and too alone to ask. Before I go crazy, I closed my eyes, one last time, and talked to the only one, who, I just realized, has been the one I’m talking to, for quite a while. Tilting my head up, I allowed the night to see my smile that’s bright. I know, I’m confident. 2018 would be another rollercoaster, octopus, or Vikings, and it can also be a Ferris wheel, a Merry-Go-Round, no one knows, only God does. There’s one thing I’m sure of though, this New Year, it would be a horror train ride – a total fusion of miseries, the known and unknown, a jumble of unfathomable sensations, series of unexplained loss and wins; but if you’ll manage to pass and get through the whole darkness, nothing would beat the feeling of waking up before an abundance of light, and love, and relief. It will not be easy, or cool, and stress-free. In fact, nothing is. But with a complete gang and package gracing my entirety, I know it will be a smooth, hard, good, bad, difficult, but most especially, it will be another year that’s one for the books.

I can’t promise myself anything simultaneously with the sounds of the firecrackers and the cheers of the people, but there’s one thing I’m sure of: this time, next year, I will be better than who I am today.

This 2018, is for God, who has been the reason for everything and all of these shall be for His greater glory.

This 2018, is for my family, who has been my constant firewall whether or not everything’s in place.

This 2018, is for all of my classmates, and friends, and acquaintances, who spiced up everything in my life.

This 2018, is for every human here on Earth, who wakes up dead emotions inside me, as they make me realize all of the spectrum’s wonders.

This 2018, is for this world, who brought nothing but pain, nonetheless, taught me nothing but how to survive the hard lane.

This 2018, is for myself, who did not dare to step back, upon facing a rigorous manhole somewhere down town.

I, probably can’t thank you all enough. But please know that every letter and every symbol, every word, and every sentence in this piece of writing, is inspired by all of you, for whom I’ll fight for until death.

I’ve said this once, but I’ll say it again. 2017, it’s been great. Ups and downs, one hell of a ride. Thank you and a wonderful goodbye!

2018, be what you want, do what you ought to do. My heart is ready. I am born ready.

And I just hope, next year, when this writing turns one, I will still be under the same roof, under the same sky, staring at the moon, talking to the stars in the bright night, recalling how my 2018 went, and what it brought, along with the deafening, yet comforting sounds of trumpets and firecrackers. I hope, the next time I’ll make this year-end piece on December 31, 2018, I’ll still be with those people whom I have written this one for, in December 31, 2017.

Uncertainties may be the only things the universe holds that are certain, there’s one thing I know undoubtedly – Obstacles make life challenging, and overcoming then makes like meaningful.

Happy New Year! Continue to soar this 2018, and for the upcoming years!

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